Can Social Awareness Be the Secret to Thriving in Remote Tech Culture?
Unconventional Tips for Staying Connected in a Virtual World
We can’t get away from conference calls.
When I was full-time in the office, fully remote during COVID, and now hybrid, the dreaded conference call is still a fact of life. Tech culture is still very much remote, even if we all sit in a fluorescent-lit office.
Collaboration with overseas teams, consultants in other parts of the country, and even permanent remote colleagues is a fact of life. I have been in data analytics for 10+ years, and the nature of being “remote” in my role has only increased.
How does building our Social Awareness enables us to excel (no pun intended) in our day-to-day tech jobs?
Unlocking Emotional Intelligence in Remote Teams
I had an experience a couple of months ago when I interrupted someone in a large meeting, assuming they would ask me to do something misaligned with my project goals. The narrative in my head was, “Oh, great, one more thing I have to do!” They weren’t, and I had made a fool of myself.
I’ve made the mistake of letting my bias interrupt my listening and making my assumptions just that—assumptions. Even for someone like myself who strives to practice high emotional intelligence, sometimes this impulse gets the best of me. It can be more challenging if I am not feeling particularly grounded and centered that day.
Here’s how I tackle it so it rarely happens: In a remote environment, I mainly emphasize listening to the words vs. body language, as you can’t see everything as clearly when you are not in the same room. This is essentially a form of active listening. Being more present with your listening is a form of solid social awareness. An unconventional technique I have is focusing on the speaker's eyebrows. It’s less creepy than staring someone directly in the eyes, even in a remote meeting.
Unlocking your social awareness by taking in more words without bias (active listening) will help you be at the top of your game.
Spotting Hidden Cues: Reading the Unsaid in Virtual Meetings
You are chatting to a screen littered with small boxes, and guess what—maybe they are not even really there? Their bodies are there, but their minds are not. Having worked in the business of several SaaS companies over the years, I know all too well that many of us are multitasking.
Is someone’s eye looking glazed over or focused on as if they see a ghost in the far left area of the screen? Has someone been off video the entire time and silent as a mouse? These are some hidden cues to know the unsaid from the meeting attendee, “I don’t want to be here!”
The energy of a room is contagious, even in a virtual one. It can spread thousands of miles, even in a remote environment.
Do you think your message will be as impactful if the mood is distracted? Will the details of the code you are digging into get across? No! Don’t ignore the hidden cues. This matters because if you are having a crucial conversation, you might not be having it. It’s like you are talking to a wall.
Here’s what you do: ask gently if it is a good time for you to meet.
You’d be surprised how often someone’s eyes shift directly on you, and they are suddenly all in. They are socially aware. This builds trust because you have taken an interest in your well-being. In the world of tech, we are moving against fast stakeholder expectations and outside pressures, and sometimes it feels like no one gives a SH*T! It’s nice when someone does.
This either will pivot the conversation so that they are more in tune with you, or they will be honest that it is not a good time, and you will reschedule.
Look for subtle, hidden cues. Reading the room in a virtual meeting like this can save you time later, like having to repeat yourself.
Redefining Connection: Building a Sense of Team in a Virtual World
I once worked in a SaaS company, where my manager would start our early Wednesday morning conference calls with, “Everyone, tell us your win for the week.” The win could be work-related, but it was usually personal. After all…people love talking about themselves. Don’t pretend otherwise - you know you do! That’s okay!
Jumping right into business can backfire. With back-to-back meetings, people attending are not always focused. They are trying to pivot their brains after seeing the dumpster fire in their last meeting or being yelled at by a client. That’s cool - not. But here’s the thing—starting the call with someone unrelated who brings a spark of joy (a win) and sets the tone for the call. Most of all, it builds connections in a virtual world.
By getting to know people better, you can work with them and learn what makes them tick—good or bad. This will make it easier to collaborate with them in the long term.
Taking time from the day to get to know people pays dividends later. It’s an easy routine to build into recurring weekly meetings. It builds rapport and psychological safety. Get to know people better—when you need them later to work with, it will go much easier!
Redefine connection beyond the hands-on business factor- refine it and build rapport. We are humans, not robots. Thrive!
Rethinking Work-Life Balance in a Remote-First Environment
If it’s not constant DMs in Slack, someone in your organization asks you, “Did you get my email?” Sometimes, you need a break! I thought it would slow down when I transitioned from being in the office full-time to remote. It got worse!
During COVID, when many of us were remote, I observed many of us becoming “ON” all the time. This has reverberated to the present. I recently had someone email me back immediately on her day off. I emailed her instead of sending a DM, knowing she was OOO, and honestly, it wasn’t urgent.
If you do not rest your brain and spirit from daily life's chaos, your glass will spill over. But guess what? It is not all on you! We have to build an environment that encourages this together. We have to be socially aware.
I thanked my colleague but also assured her I was not expecting an immediate answer. I wished her a good day off and left it at that. I planned to ask my follow-up questions when she returned that Monday so she would not feel obligated to think about it or respond in depth.
Allowing people to turn off helps prevent burnout. The line can get blurred significantly in the remote environment, where we reach each other through a DM or “quick question” through an impromptu meeting. People need a freaking break to thrive! You can set boundaries but also empower others to set boundaries, too.
The conventional method is to work, work, work, and then take a “vacation” where you look at the scenery with one eye and then your phone with the other. Change that. Both eyes should be on the scenery. This focus on the present, which is meant to relax us, conserves our energy for when we do have an urgent matter in the future.
✅ What I’ve been Analyzing this week (reading, watching, listening, etc.)
📖 I’ve been reading Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
📺I watched a YT short from Julia Kristina Counseling on a technique to chill out
✍️I responded to a post by Véronique Barrot about leaders who are easy to work with and added my 2 cents
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Thanks for reading!