Shifting Project Requirements? Stay Flexible Without Losing It
Stop Playing Defense & Own the Chaos
It's Monday morning, and you get a ping that makes you cringe.
You are set to present to stakeholders the most recent development work done, but you have a "quick request" come in for a minor change.
You could get pissed off and shut down the stakeholder that just pinged you.
That would probably burn the working relationship.
What do you do?
These constant changes and "quick updates" drive you up the wall!
You do not have to be a project manager to handle the shifting project goals like a pro.
You can do this. Read on…
New Rules, New Game -Adapt or Get Left Behind
If you are an engineer, data architect, or project manager, you know the terminology: Waterfall, Agile, Six Sigma….Wizard of Oz. Okay, no, you don't have that last one. It is one I said in the past week when I was trying to figure out my role in a current project. I suppose Wicked has been on my brain.
It's a mistake to assume everyone on your stakeholder team knows these methodologies and is aligned on what they mean, even if they say, "I know what Agile is!"
Who has been on an Agile project, and it actually was just an Agile project in name only?
Anyone?
Yep, probably you too. I have.
Agile has been trendy for over a decade and with good reason.
There can be a misunderstanding, though, as to what it means.
With Agile, requirements are gathered, iteration and development occur, and then the stakeholders get to review. It goes in a loop.
But what if this loop keeps going like a snowball, picking up speed?
The loop has to close at some point. The challenge here is to be patient. Cutting off the input of requirements immediately will result in a non-viable product.
Empathize with your stakeholders. Heck, they do not even know what they need sometimes. Sometimes, you just have to be like that five-year-old asking, "Why, why, WHY?"
Be open. Let them ramble about a solution if they need to, but check back for understanding to know what they are trying to fix.
A good practice? Recap what was talked about in writing. Document what was decided in a log. Use this to help remember everything asked so things do not keep popping up.
A little while back, I was testing with a stakeholder when she noticed something she would have expected was missing. I listened and logged it as an enhancement. The stakeholder insisted, "No, it's a bug!" Technically, it was not a bug because we never had the requirements. I let her talk, empathized, and listened. I explained it was an enhancement and that it would be handled. She insisted, "but it's required!". Yes, I assured her I knew and assured her it would be taken care of ASAP; it just was a wording difference. This was a fine example of different thought processes around requirements, timing, and the various project methodologies.
It was a lesson in staying calm, even when tension rises, and adapting as needed to the situation. More about that is below.
Call It Out: Don't Let Stakeholder Silence Sink Your Project
I met with key stakeholders on a business trip at their home office a few months ago. We spent some intense working sessions sketching, discussing scenarios, and going through the wormhole of what-ifs. Then, we ran out of time.
I had assumed we could meet virtually soon to fill in the needed gaps. It took five weeks! It felt like an act of monumental heights to even get this brief 25-minute follow-up.
When things sit too long, they get delayed. You have to remember that stakeholders do not know your timetable or the requirements you need; you do. Take charge of the situation.
I should have scheduled the follow-up sessions before we left. You see, it was not that these stakeholders were avoiding me - not at all. Instead, they were consumed by business travel, which was another major project that came up. Had I scheduled the session right then, we would have had it on the books. Ultimately, we got to meet again and close the gaps.
I gently reminded them. When that did not work, I spoke with a leader who regularly met with them to help remind them to get back to me. Once reminded, they were prompt, and we got to work.
That reminds me—you can always have recurring sessions. But keep them with the people who need to be there. Who really wants to be on those daily calls with 50+ people, where most are zoning out? Keep the meetings productive and routine with the right people, and you can delete the silence that could be sinking your project. Have the right forum for people to ask questions and get past their blockers.
As an added bonus, it is great for relationship management, which can help build the bonds needed to get through a tough project.
Messy Projects Need a Calm Mastermind—That's You
There is a fine line between being calm and appearing dismissive.
Let's consider three scenarios. You are feeling rattled, and the person on the other side of your Zoom screen says…
Scenario 1: "I hear you" - in a monotone voice, barely flinching
Scenario 2: "I hear you" - with just a touch of emotion, but looking distracted and their eyes on their other monitor
Scenario 3: "I hear you" - with a calm voice that sounds caring, and they are looking you in the eyes
Which do you prefer? I prefer scenario 3. All were calm; that is not the issue. But the first two scenarios came off as slightly dismissive. Care would bring calm. Scenario 3 shows a calm mastermind using the power of empathy to put me at ease.
You, too, can be the calm mastermind.
You are a sentient human. You are not Artificial Intelligence. It is not just your words but the actual thoughts and feelings behind them.
It does not require that you necessarily agree with the other tense individual. You can think through though what they are thinking. You can ask questions that are open-ended. You can imagine how it felt when you were tense, but probably about something else. You do not need to feel it; you can think it. This is cognitive empathy. Even in this format, your empathy will exclude your calmness to settle the rattled stakeholder(s) in your presence and make you the master of the situation.
Be the calm one who really listens, documents, and asks questions. People love to talk, so do less of the talking yourself. Take deep breaths, pause before responding, and remain curious.
If you are the tense one, don't slam your fingertips on that keyboard and send angry emails. Get up, get a glass of water, or go for a walk outside or in the building. Then, see how you feel about that angry email. You are the master of your mind and your emotions. The first step is to recognize it through self-awareness, then take mindful action that works for you.
Surviving Chaos Isn't Enough—It's Time to Dominate It
Every project I have been in has had a certain level of chaos. If anyone tells you their project is going "just perfect," know they are either lying or in a temporary state of euphoria. Projects have their ups and downs, just like life. One of the big downs in a project is the surprises, like changing requirements. But is it really chaos?
It's a mistake to assume that new or conflicting demands are chaos. Change your perception. They're organic, like the tomato plant overgrowing in my backyard. They're part of a project's life and process.
Shifting your perspective will allow you to dominate and thrive rather than just survive. I know it can be challenging when projects feel ambiguous, and you are under a deadline but know that your mindset shift will make you more effective.
Here's a recap of the things to do to stop playing defensive: adapt, don't assume, align, communicate, be curious, and be calm. Empathize where you can; think about it even if you do not feel it. Continue building on relationships so you can stick together even stronger when times get tough.
When the requirements keep changing, it can be initially frustrating. Recognize it, feel it, and move forward. With the right actions and mindset, you can be flexible and get back in your flow.
✅ What I’ve been Analyzing this week (reading, watching, listening, etc.)
📖 I’m reading Emotional Intelligence Habits by Travis Bradberry, to learn even more around Relationship Management. I am getting to the section where he talks about how to handle toxic people.
😣I found this useful Instagram post about 3 science-backed ways to calm your nervous system
✍️ I commented on a post by
and on the Engineering Leadership Substack about soft skills that Tech Leads need to develop. These are critical soft skills to learn, broken down in an easy-to-read “how-to” with examples!Want more on Empathy and Emotional Intelligence to Elevate your career? 📈
I empower💪tech people to elevate their empathy, to accelerate their careers
I completely agree that accepting changing requirements is essential! These changes often arise not just from oversight but also from new insights gained during project execution, which can ultimately add more value. Fighting against change only complicates matters.
At the same time, it's important to recognize that stakeholders aren't just trying to make our lives difficult. They often view the project from a different perspective, feeling the pressure of delivery. Understanding their viewpoint can foster collaboration rather than frustration, leading to more successful outcomes for everyone involved.
You're a 100% on the scenario 3. We're not robots, we're humans. When you relate to people on a human level and understand that at the end of the day they have a problem they need to fix, you can help them better than any chatbot could.
That's why hopping on a call is best when things can get lost in translation or a message or e-mail will be read differently depending on who's reading it and how they feel.
Intonation, speech speed and tone can change the message you're conveying for better or worse, so meeting is the best approach!