The Silent Killer in Tech: Why Burnout is a No Go
Just STOP IT before it sneaks up on you
This is
- your weekly guide and shortcut to mastering emotional intelligence through the power of empathy. I talked recently about how you can defeat the Real Villain in your Tech Stack - Legacy systems through the power of empathy.
A couple of years ago, I sat thinking in the middle of finishing a data display - I'm going to burn out if I keep running like this. The rising feeling of heaviness was in my chest.
I had been burnt out before. I knew the feelings of exhaustion and the blur between my personal and work life. I was self-aware of the thoughts of my long-running to-do list creeping into my waking moments.
There is that thread of strain on the vocal cords in your neck, straining your voice.
We are human—not machines, not artificial intelligence, or some animate being that can withstand endless wear and tear.
Recognizing the oncoming signs of burnout, I was able to stop it and turn it around.
This was a no-go.
There is no exact right way to do this. It depends on the situation. Self-management is key to navigating the ongoing tide of burnout and diverting away from it. It can be a silent killer.
Read on…
Burnout Isn't Sudden: Spot the Warning Signs Before They Spiral
I had a friend who had been in their comfortable office job for 5 years and 4 months. They had planned to be a "lifer" at their company.
They were comfortable, almost complacent, in their daily routine. The one thing that would shake their pleasant demeanor was criticism, whether genuine, constructive, or unwarranted.
Constructive criticism was met with anger. Others and I would often hear his quiet grumbles. We would silently listen and acknowledge but not necessarily agree. It was allowed to slide since he was brilliant in his work. It also seemed like he was going through a tough time, so nobody wanted to poke the bear. Looking back, he showed the hallmark signs of burnout in his mood and reactions. He was spiraling.
His minor grumbles have turned into downright nastiness in the last few months I have worked with him. There was an aura of defensiveness, even in the acts of teamwork with his peers. He always had to be correct and lacked the recognition that his mood was bringing down everyone around him.
His work was still brilliant by most standards. His tech stack was organized and something to be emulated. His ability to query data was beyond the level of most other data folks sharing the floor. The trust leadership put into his forecasts was unmeasured.
One day, his defense bubbled up. A colleague complained. It had crossed the line.
His brilliance in technical ability did not save him. He got written up, which was harmful to his career.
What could have gone differently? It could have been tackled before his burnout, which worsened his lousy headspace. But his manager, colleagues, and even him did not have the bravery to at least recognize it. Often, with burnout, the first step to diminishing it is acknowledging its presence. Don't let it be silent.
The Power of 'No': Setting and Communicating Boundaries
Last January, my manager stepped in and shielded my team like an umbrella in a torrential downpour. My former manager (now on maternity leave) was a master at recognizing the need to balance the needs of the business and the human needs of her team.
She was upfront about never wanting her team to feel underwater for long and doing her part to protect us. She did not just talk about it but did it. She had a strong sense of empathy for us.
On one chilly January morning, a request came in her inbox to provide a long list of data points by the end of the day. The vast majority were not even data that were known to be captured. Unfortunately, our current tech stack was not equipped to handle the request. It would not be a matter of just pulling up a report from December but instead recreating formulas, meeting with stakeholders, and getting creative with how we could ascertain the numbers in a short seven-day period.
While not leading to long-term burnout, this would definitely burn out the team that Wednesday and bring down our productivity for the remainder of the week as we tried to recover.
She held the line, leveraging her skilled self-management ability to communicate a gentle No in a calm manner. She leveraged her high emotional intelligence to craft a response that still appeased the stakeholders by offering the answers in the data they needed but with only a third of the metrics to provide. Then, she called an urgent meeting with our team to get to work for the day and instructed us to divert all meetings.
We got through it and took a deep breath at the end of the day when it was done. But none of us felt burnt out. Getting the data together quickly was realistic, even if it was challenging.
Say No. If you are in a leadership position, say no, especially. Do not just talk about saying no and respecting the mental well-being of your team. Live it.
The consequences of not doing so? Burnout can lead to a whole slew of health issues, some of them eventually fatal. These symptoms can silently creep up on you.
Recharge, Don't Crash
What happens if you have more than 100 tabs open in your browser? You usually cannot find what you need and risk crashing your computer! Who has had that happen?
Guilty.
Much like a computer, our human brain cannot handle multi-taking the way we think it can. Too many things will crash and burn you.
The reality is that we do not have the capacity to type on five different keyboards simultaneously. We type on one. We might have several monitors up, but we are only looking at one or two in our field of vision.
Like a computer or any electronic device, it is healthy to turn it off or reboot it once in a while.
This past December, I took time off. I planned it months in advance. I took a hiatus amid a big project, but with the pre-scheduled time, we were all prepared to do so. Actually, other folks on the team took my lead, and we decided to put the project mostly on hold through the end of December.
I've come back this January, and unlike a couple of years ago, I don't feel the rising tense feeling in my chest or heaviness in my throat.
Last week was probably my busiest week of the year. I had intense meetings where I demoed, logged bugs, discussed change management with senior leadership, and was under the spotlight as I shared my screen. It was high pressure, but I did it without crashing and burning.
I self-managed preemptively by taking the time to rest. I knew January would be tough, so I built my reserves ahead of time and communicated openly with my peers and boss about it. This approach was well received.
So, what happened in January?
So, what happened a couple of years ago that January?
I realized that company was not for me and found a new one a few months later. I was much happier. Yes, sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. The prior place was not a good fit. With introspection and self-awareness, I knew the path I was being pushed to be on was not sustainable, so I got to work to find another one to be on. I saved my health and prevented the oncoming wave of burnout before it happened.
There are micro-actions we can take a long way, though, that are less drastic actions we can take.
The world of tech can be high-pressure, whether you are in an emerging startup where you wear many hats or work for a publicly traded company that is under the scrutiny of its shareholders. There is pressure to innovate, do more with less, and constantly grow. Plus, you have to empathize with your internal or external stakeholders.
Recognize when stressors are getting to you. Do not dismiss all feedback, especially constructive feedback intended to help lift you up. Say No. Take your breaks and plan them. Do not let this silent killer in your productivity take over.
You got this. Blast that burnt out away before it engulfs you.
✅ What I’ve been Analyzing this week (reading, watching, listening, etc.)
📖 I’m reading Empathy (HBR Emotional Intelligence Series) by the Harvard Business Review, Daniel Goleman, Annie McKee, and Adam Waytz. I’m learning how Facebook leveraged empathy as part of its privacy policy.
🔥The Los Angeles wildfires have been raging just north of me by about 100mi/160km. I have felt helpless. In a time of emergency people need food and shelter. I donated to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank to assist them in feeding victims of the fire.
✍️ I commented on a post by
and about the importance of Soft Skills in the interviewing process on the Smarter Techies SubstackWant more on Empathy and Emotional Intelligence to Elevate your career? 📈
I empower💪tech people to elevate their empathy, to accelerate their careers
I've seen many colleagues keep grinding, thinking hard work is everything even with signs of burnout. But they're chasing a feeling more than real productivity, which can't be sustained in the long run. Some get addicted to workplace accomplishment and acceptance, paying a high price with their own health.
Thank you for sharing this article!
While I agree, I think that unfortunately, you can't help it. I experience burn out every month and sometimes, I don't even want to open my laptop. But when I remember my real life responsibilities, burn out is secondary. I, however, also try to make sure I don't have an outburst. It changes nothing.