Why You Can’t Focus (And What to Do About It)

Your Brain Is Under Attack, Fight Back

This is

Empathy Elevated

- your weekly guide and shortcut to mastering emotional intelligence through the power of empathy. I talked recently about how not to have your Work Remain Invisible. Here’s what you can do!

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Image created by author Colette Molteni for Empathy Elevated through Storyblocks

It's 10am, and your brain is buzzing from more than just the coffee you have finished.

The ping is going off, like an off-key song.

One of them is Todd; you want to "chat for 2 minutes."

Another is that reminder to finish that capstone you are working on as part of your professional goals development.

How did all of this happen when you just looked away for a few minutes on your phone? The mental break you, too, must have been more than the 3 minutes you thought it was.

The other ping indicates that the meeting you dread is starting RIGHT NOW.

Oh, and our stomach is rumbling. Did you have more than that coffee for breakfast?

Your brain is under attack. How on earth are you going to get focused?

Image created by author Colette Molteni for Empathy Elevated through Storyblocks

You're Not Distracted - You're Overstimulated

Your focus shot. Imagine you have a list of 5 to-do lists items, and they all feel urgent. Well, you have two arms, so how will you do 2.5x that at once? Hint: you are not.

Personally, I am an HSP (highly sensitive person, a type of neurodivergence. As an HSP, I am highly attuned to detail, which is an asset in tech and the world of data analytics. However, I have experienced its downside, where I can get overstimulated easily because I see everything coming at me. While others who are more neurotypical can perhaps ignore some of the things, I see at all at the same time. I have heard from my friends with ADHD, they encounter a similar bout of overstimulation.

First, empathize with others and yourself as someone who gets overstimulated easily. For others, realize that they do not necessarily understand what you are going through. Even if you are neurotypical, sometimes you have to be upfront that you need space to "clear your head" and regroup. Could you not assume they know?

For yourself, have some grace, and practice your self-management. What works for you to get back on track and be less distracted? Do you have to set your phone away from your desk? Do you have to put a block of working time on your calendar? Think about it, and act on it preemptively before your head feels like it's spinning.

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Multitasking is the Fastest Way to Get Nothing Done

It's 4, and you have hardly crossed anything off your to-do list for the day. But, you feel like you could like to catch your breath.

Perhaps it was not the list but its length. With too much coming at you and too much "urgency," there can be a tendency to want to jump on it all at once.

Ever hear their expression, "master of none". If you are trying to do too much at once, you have less time for each task, and the chances of accomplishing each go down. Hence, you do not master or complete much of anything. It's simple math.

I multitask if I absolutely have to. I lead with heart, and I am there for my team and stakeholders who rely on me. But generally, in service to them and for my own sanity, I work to gently push back when the list starts getting too long. I ask, "When do you need this by?" or "Do you need this for a meeting?"

People often have to think for a moment, and what they need is usually not due for days. I do not need to do it on the same day! Hence, there is no need to rush and try to get what they asked by multitasking during a meeting I am listening to.

Multitasking will often slow you down in achieving that check-off on your to-do list. Limit it to get things actually done!

Image created by author Colette Molteni for Empathy Elevated through Storyblocks

Your brain needs a Reset - here's how to do it

You are irritable. Imagine the beep of the microwave aggravates you as it beckons you to leave your chair. Your partner asks for a second to remind you of something. Your boss has asked for an update by Thursday. You are about ready to explode.

But do you usually need a reset?

I recently worked seven days straight due to a major implementation that had been 10 months in the making. The week had arrived to make the system go live for over a hundred users and transform their daily work habits. My brain felt trained after the literal week of empathic listening to their challenges and urgent pleas to address the bugs that had popped up.

In reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, there is a section about "Counting to Ten" in the Self-Management chapter." It involves just taking a pause and counting to 10. It shifts your attention to be more mindful in the moment and brings some calm. It resets you.

Another way I like to do it is to work to ensure I get enough sleep. My minimum to function well is 7 hours. When I get less than 5 hours, my brain does not reset, and I have to repeat tasks or re-ask for clarifications. That 2 hours less of sleep does not, in fact, give me more time.

Reset to get your focus back and tackle the day ahead.

Cut the noise on your mind.

Your mind is your own. We think thousands of thoughts daily and have many more subconscious drivers moving us.

The good news is that we have more control than we give ourselves credit for, even if we tend to get overstimulated (hi, HSP here!).

Self-management and empathy are our levers to developing the framework that works for us. I have talked about shortening your to-do list, less multitasking, and getting a good night's rest.

But what works for you? You might thrive on last-minute deadlines to crank out your work. If so, go for it if that will stress you out less than completing that project several days before.

You know you best. Take a moment to think—just a minute—as you conclude this article, and then write it down.

What are you going to do this week to get your focus back?

Not for Karen, not for your boss, and certainly not for Todd,, who always wants a "quick 2-minute2-minute call".” No, it's for you only! LFG!

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✅ What I’ve been Analyzing this week (reading, watching, listening, etc.)

📖 I’m reading Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown. I read an interesting chapter this week about how the feelings of exhaustion can actually be at the root from feeling loneliness and lack of community.

📷I looked at these photos of a 🐿️squirrel landing like a superhero. Who knew they always looked this fantastic!

✍️ I commented on a post by

Karl Dunn

about how we are not actually as right as we think we are. Fascinating read and appropriate for the times we are in, especially in the United States. I commented on how I agree that uncertainty is uncomfortable, but I have tackled it by building greater empathy.

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