How to Make Non-Tech Stakeholders Actually Listen to You
Technical brilliance won’t save a broken message
This is
- your weekly guide and shortcut to mastering emotional intelligence through the power of empathy. Last week, I had a guest post by , who wrote in-depth about Empathy in Flow.
“Just tell me what this means for revenue,” the senior VP has barked at you.
You feel dismayed.
Frustrated. Unheard.
Why did you even bother preparing this presentation if that was the reception you were going to receive?
The Data Was Right, But the Story Was Wrong
I sat there, squirming in my chair, as I was bombarded with questions.
The data was all there—every piece of it. It was clear where we needed to take the next steps as a team, and it even highlighted some of the warning signs ahead of us.
Instead of focusing on what the data showed (or so I thought), the questions zeroed in on what it meant, why it was surfacing now, and not how to use it.
What could I have done better?
Empathic listening.
Listening to the recipients ahead of time to understand what they were actually trying to solve. Reading through their emails to see their style, short or highly detailed? Do they use feeling words or thinking words?
I’ve applied this in the years since, and I often receive the compliment, “You got all the requirements.”
But really, it’s been more than that. It hasn’t been some mechanical checklist.
The data may be technically accurate, but it also needs to convey a story that can be easily understood and followed by the people viewing it.
You are a human, not an AI. That means you can tailor the story to the person or people in a way that fits how they process information.
For example, you might know—just from a passing comment—that someone hates bullet points and prefers numbered lists.
Why? It gives the information a sequence and a sense of narrative. An AI might only know that if someone explicitly enters that preference.
But you? You’re out in the world, observing, listening, and picking up on nuance. You overhear things. You make connections.
That’s your edge. It’s not just about getting the data right. It’s about tailoring the message in a way that actually lands with your audience.
Complexity Doesn’t Equal Competence
I was once tasked with helping to deploy an add-on into our email-based app that would enable it to be connected to another app.
The problem? The steps were a full 28 steps to follow!
The steps were technical in nature, as you had to click through the correct prompts, and a single misstep could mean starting over again.
Users were confused, despite the resources provided by the app creator.
For those who had deployed it, the complexity did not instill confidence that they were using it correctly.
We needed this app, even if the setup was a little too technical. I could not help but notice that the developers had made it as such, but I could still impact the situation now.
I opened daily office hours.
I had their hands as we walked through the steps together.
Instead of showing all the complex features, I demoed the top 3 and had them practice live.
I reached our non-technical stakeholders who needed this technical tool.
If You Want Stakeholders to Listen, Start by Listening to
Your technical brilliance alone will not result in brilliant work if your stakeholders cannot leverage it in a way that works for them.
How do we get past this and shine?
As stated in “Primal Leadership” by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee, “Empathy, which includes listening and taking other people’s perspectives, allows leaders to tune in to the emotional channels between people that create resonance. And staying attuned lets leaders fine-tune their message to keep it in synch” (Page 31).
Start by listening, instead of just talking.
Truthfully, your stakeholders are often trying to help you if they are trying to solve a problem. It is subconscious.
However, digging past this and getting to the root issue they are trying to resolve will go a long way in beneficially applying your technical brilliance.
For example, consider a recent occurrence where my team received a request for a new dashboard. It seemed pretty straightforward. They had the data points they wanted to highlight.
But rather than dive in and create a beautiful, shiny dashboard, I dug in and listened.
What was being solved with this view?
What was being tracked?
There was much to be tracked, but the break in the process was mainly due to a lack of trust.
I dug in. A break in the process was discovered upon consulting with another team upstream, and there was no way to track it.
I built in the infrastructure to track it. Then, proceeded to create a simple report to track that this step was being done.
This built trust. This answered the question. No need for a beautiful dashboard that would take hours to create and have dozens of filters to sort through. That would have required substantial time and still not addressed the challenges of my stakeholders.
Start by listening.
Clarity Isn’t Optional, It’s the Job
A large part of our job in the technical side of working in tech involves not just hard skills, but also relationship management and social awareness.
Being clear in a way that is understandable to our non-technical stakeholders builds those relationships and opens the doors for you to gain awareness.
Being clear is not optional if you want to achieve your professional goals and succeed.
What is clear to your colleague in the engineering department may not be clear to the sales representative or customer success leader.
Empathize, and think from their perspective.
Take the time to listen first, and in return, they will listen to you.
TAKEAWAY FOR EMPATHY LEADERS:
Tailor the story, not just the data — technical accuracy isn’t enough if your audience can’t see what it means for them.
Listen before you present — understanding what stakeholders are really trying to solve makes your work land with impact.
Simplify to build confidence — complexity can confuse; clarity and focus create trust.
Spot the hidden problem — a flashy dashboard might impress, but solving the root issue earns lasting credibility.
Clarity is leadership, not an option — empathy and clear communication turn technical brilliance into influence.
✅ What I’ve been analyzing this week (reading, watching, listening, etc.)
📖 I’m just reading Stoicism for New Life by Michael Whiteclear. Empathy is an integral part of being a Stoic. I will be incorporating more themes related to Stoicism in the near future.
🐈⬛ I read this article about a breakthrough cancer therapy for cats, which could help humans, too.
😻Speaking of cats, I read this encouraging post by
with cat quotes to have you show up inspired for the week
This is spot on. At the end of the day, understanding how and when your stakeholders want to communicate is critical. The way we deliver data storytelling matters, just as much as the data itself — some people just want "to know the time" (direct), while others want to know "how the clock is made" (detailed). Knowing which one you’re speaking to can make all the difference in decision-making, operational efficiency, and ultimately revenue results.
This is FANTASTIC! My priority this week is crafting a proposal to transition roles in order to solve a foundational issue in the customer experience. I need to be super succinct and impactful to get it actually considered and acted upon fairly quickly.
Do you have any advice for when you have one page to make impact? Focus on the story- even without detailed data/figures initially.